Future cramps? Here’s an antidote!

Well, winters show no sign of departure this year. It’s already chilling, yet the temperature seems to plunge everyday. Is it the season chill or the dread of unemployment, nothingness and a feeling of void that’s making people feel utmost cold? All the third year students who are just at the brink of graduating but are still struggling to find a productive job for themselves, relatable stuff folks?

Friends, am in the same phase and the thought of being just languid after some months does seem a nightmare. But every failure has the seeds for success, which if looked after properly, will blossom. Always remember,

When your future doesn’t appear bright,

Just remember to keep your self confidence tight.

Here’s a list of very deeply realised tips that can help you keep yourself intact against all odds.

– Persistence needs to be consistent 

Falling, stumbling, and then, rising is the key to a successful venture. Don’t let failure stammer your growth and let you feel that it’s the end. It’s very important to stay persistent in your endeavours and not falter in your efforts. Aapna time will surely come!

Embrace failure to embrace success

Failures are a part and parcel of one’s life. Every person, in every aspect has faced some forms of failure in their life. Those who haven’t, have not got the opportunity to grow. Taking your failures as learning experiences validates the idea of they being stepping stones towards success. Anyway guys, winters are always followed by springs!

Mistakes help you take stake

The more mistakes you make, the more opportunities you get to embellish your personality. Erring, falling but, improving and winning needs to be the mantra. Nobody is perfect and everybody has some or the other loopholes. Tracing and recognizing your flaws and working on them is the key to your growth and development.

No room for self doubt

Every failure does leave you despondent. When things dont go the way you anticipated, when you are being tested way too many times, when none of the oppurrtunity works your way, understand that everything happens for a reason. Never undermine yourself just because the right job for you isn’t coming fleeting by. Know your worth and upgrade your standards with each downfall you face. Something better in store for you, if not the best!

Folks, just like the translucent phase post your school which was saturated with uncertainty, you got through and,do feel proud to be at this level today. Don an unflinching attitude towards life, and life will ultimately show you it’s true colors.

When life is just at your doorstep

All you need to do is not keep it knocking….

One of my very close friend’s father recently committed suicide. The reason being incapacity in paying the debt of the loan that was sanctioned. Yes? Not an uncommon act?

When life seems sprightless, sought out the mess.

When you think there’s no hope, don’t try to strangle your throat in a loop.

Life does offer multiple colors. Don’t belittle them through self murders.

Folks, you always value things that are special to you. You ought to value your life as a customized gift designed by The Almighty. Its special, there’s a lot of bliss, beauty and brightness out there. At times you do feel insipid, but don’t let this void succumb you.

Here’s some of the tips that would help you enjoy and embrace life:

The best is yet to come

Getting overwhelmed post a particular achievement is natural and reflexive. Yet, it’s not the final stop. You may achieve what you have always dreamt for, but remember you never cease to be a student. What may sound the best right now, what may be deemed as the utmost gain, what may be reckoned as the most sublime thing; all these may prove peanuts when one would look at them ten years from now. Really guys, sky ought to be the limit because the range of best is limitless.

Embrace happiness 

Life would be merry if you make it charming. Finding happiness and belittling pessimism would actually create a positive aura around you. Always remember, you were born not just to breathe but to live, love and laugh. So folks, don’t disappoint The Almighty by breaching his so lively expectations and his faith in His creation.

Have faith in yourself 

The only person who can make you feel low, languid and lame is you, yourself. A decision to end your life, or to just thrive or to live to the fullest is totally reliable on you. Folks, believe in the power of you, a productive body who isn’t restrained by anyone but just you. Never undermine your dexterity and hence, you will find endless reasons to survive the contemporary world.

Sky or beyond sky the limit?

The sky is the limit but there are layers beyond that. Aiming for stratospheric heights and achieving beyond it ought to be the goal. Folks, every failure has in itself the seeds of success. Instead of weeding off the seeds, nourish them daily so that one day, they sprout into a polished plant.

Friends, it’s all in your hands to enjoy the delights and raptures of life. If life takes a soporific mode, don’t let it get laid down forever.

 

 

 

The all new culture of bro-zoned girls

The word bro is deemed as gender neutral in the contemporary youth designed dictionary. A condensed form of the word brother, it literally signifies the essence of brotherhood with the crux being ‘bhai-bhai’. Yet, today it’s casually employed to label every other same group relations, especially among young people, thus eliminating the gender factor altogether.

Amidst the increasing usage of the word, there’s been curation of a new term that’s called ‘bro zoned’. Of course, it’s been ‘infamously’ used by girls to define their relations to a chunk of boys, yet the latter ‘bro-zoning’ the former is the ostensible new category.

Here’s a quick look on the tribe of girls who qualify to fit in the category of bro-zone:

–Not lady like

Girls who are blatant, defiant and straight forward blur the gender dichotomy. Having qualities that are, according to societal conventions, best suited for the menfolk, these girls move closer to being a man’s ‘bro’.

– No more ‘desi’

The ‘Desi’ Indian woman is expected to be docile, demure and decent. Highly charged utterances, verbal abuses and candour is something that is unbecoming of them. Yet  girls who use this language eloquently ‘becomes’ a bro as they break the sophisticated dialect that is accorded to them by the society.

– The Uncoventional one

Women are deemed to show refinement of taste, delicacy of language and embellish their personality by incorporating traits of shyness and shame. Girls who break these conventions and strive more towards audacity and frankness become fit for being a guy’s bro.

– The Knight riders

Going clubbing, frequenting liquor dens and smoking off the tedium of one’s life is only a divine right of menfolk. Girls who engage in these frivolities, ride bikes and play PUBG are ostensibly bro-zoned.

–Every Tom, Dick and Harry’s boy

Tomboy is a category of those girls who have more ‘masculine’ inclinations and are rated very low on the scale of being ‘feminine’. If a woman dresses like man, is open minded, blithe and robust; this range of behaviour will culminate into being bro-zoned.

Folks, though bro-zoned girls is the all new category with all its allurements and raptures; the word intensely reflects the deeply entrenched societal conventions in one’s psyche. The bro-code is thus becoming an ever evolving, ever changing, ever embracing phenomenon.

The indecipherable fuss around feminism

(A scene in the sparsely occupied metro)

Sam (thinking out loud) : Finally, after ages I got a seat.

(A young women enters at the next metro station and gives an impiled stare to Sam to leave the seat. But Sam belittles it.)

Mary (to Sam in a feminist rhetoric): Excuse me, can I have the seat?

When Sam refuses to do so, the co- passenger with an ostensibly modest air asks him to lend the seat in the name of ‘feminism’.

Feminism. The term is forced in the cliché category. The overused word. The falsely overused word, to be precise. 

A lot of people out there, just to fit themselves (with a lousy understanding, of course) under the garb of profound terms like enlightenment, radicalism and equality, use the word feminism on sporadic basis. Positive discrimination against women, consideration of females over male, prioritising ladies over gentleman are some of the flawed perceptions of people regarding feminism, which inevitably makes the rich term raw and rudimentary. 

Here’s some of the pointers that are casually employed by people, defining feminism in extremely superficial and sexist terms.

Ladies first.

Giving reverence to a person doesn’t entail prioritising the person over yourself. The haywire gestures of opening doors, offering seats, giving ladies way in a que doesn’t make a person feminist. It may be deemed as a form of respect, but nowhere affirms to the true essence of the term feminism. 

Positive discrimination against women.

Giving more weightage to women over men is one of the most flawed conceptions of feminism. Stratifying coaches, rows, ques or seats for women in offices, public transportation and other institutions is something not called for, in the  creamy definition of feminism. Folks, discriminating the women folk within a heterogeneous whole, is not equality and thus doesn’t constitute even the periphery of the feminist realm.

Superiority of women.

Considering females over male not only yields unsolicited imbalances but also throws a sexist light to the very crux of the term feminism. Making efforts to keep women comfortable by prioritising their task/ complains/ grievances, only ends up fitting women in lines to their sophisticated cocoon. Belittling the male ordeals and glorifying women issues with a hollow spirit doesn’t define feminism.

Ladylike v/s gentlemanliness 

The ostensible tender treatment of women in terms of lending seats, paying bills etc doesn’t make a man gentleman or, in more superficially used terms ‘feminist’. People seldom use the word ‘masulinist’ for defining women in the same surreal terms, in corresspondence to the above mentioned criterion of what makes a man ‘feminist’. So making a lady feel, in conventional terms ‘ladylike’ , is nowhere close to being called a feminist.

There’s so much buzz around the concept of feminism, that people fail to percieve the pure lusture of its resplendent nature. Folks don’t call yourself a feminist until you decipher it’s true colours. Pseudo/ hollow/naive ‘feminist’, enjoy in your own abode please.

Still think you are bigger than this small world?

If the word perfect is a clichè, then the word snob supersedes it. If there’s something called ‘flawless’, then the word delusion ought to be it’s synonym. If omniscient beings exist, then the sublime concept of God ought not to be reckoned.

Well if it’s a puzzling start of an article, so is the theme. I have observed, contemplated and to some extent analysed a typical tendency in some people. Infusing some philosphical concepts here; given we all are made of the same material and an immaterial soul, why do some people end of being imperious or a total snob? What overwhelming power do they have which makes them feel as  ‘El Rey’?

The world is full of snobs. Snobbery, for some people is inherent and for others it’s an instrumental part of the family history. Having confronted, dealt and dusted with a slew of snobs, here’s a sneak peek into the mindset and the processes underlying in their evolution.

 

A hollow pump and show

The ‘tu jaanta nhi mera baap kaun hai’ clichè is often used by people when they end up landing in some serious scuffle. Two things to say on this kind of snobbery. Firstly, the decoding person is concerned with you and not with your ‘baap’. The position, merit or opulence of your father stands void since the person is having a spat solely with you. Secondly, the statement underlines your cowardice it is to deal with the other person and verily questions your own self-esteem and courage. Identifying yourself through your father is thus, both hollow and baseless.

 

 

 The underlying insecurity speaks

It’s a common human tendency to conceal the loopholes of their personality by explicitly stating them in the opposite way. In other words, there are some people who cannot digest the success and achievements of others or their own flaws and thus, end up being a snob. Their only aim is disguise their imperfections by, showing it as the perfect thing. Generally, in a peaceful conversation, there are some people who are unnecessarily loud as their insecurity of not being able to give productive inputs or add some intellectual argument speaks volume. The only way to make people attend to their gibberish stuff is by unwanted raising of their pitch.

 

It’s all about a struggle to dominate

Leadership skills stipulate a person to be dominating, but in the right spirit. Snobs tend to create a deliberate hegemony over people which acts as a garb to cover their inability to justly control, influence and inspire others. They perceive that they have the power to mould people in a certain manner and hence try to dictate this power on others. Pedestalising themselves to create a monopoly over others is a way to satisfy their ever provoking ego and thus, struggle to dominate people.

 

Seeking reverence rather than naturally getting it

Snobbish people would always endeavour to be bossy since ideologically speaking, bosses ought to be respected. Thinking highly about themselves and projecting this deceptive image in front of others, for snobs, becomes a means to kindle respect and esteem towards themselves. Always attempting to look down upon others, considering others’ viewpoints as ludicrous and being their own sycophants are some of the ways on which snobbish people thrive. Hence, boosting and flattering themselves rather than acknowledging others ironically underlines their feeble self respect and intellect.

Have had fretted over the attitude of the tribe of snobbish people? Well folks, there are vivid varieties of people dispersed all over the globe. One just needs to know the art to deal with all kinds of people for a feasible conversation.

Embrace your solitude as a bliss

If you are the chap who is super introvert and loves to be a solitary wanderer, feel fortunate. Being all by yourself and scouting places alone has it’s own charm. No matter how much people may coax you to engage in groups, to initiate a conversation or to move in company; always remember that your penchant for solitude is actually a bliss.

Well folks, the article is being written by an utterly introvert person who just loves hobnobbing with words. Been told, ordered and demanded by many people to turn gregarious and start enjoying the company of others yet could never understand why being an introvert is deemed as something that ought to be dispelled. What is so instrumental in being an extrovert that people, like me, who love their solitude, force themselves to change their knack for introversion? Why are people always exhorting a shy person, who loves being in her/his own cocoon, to be more open and active?

Here are some (self analysed) pointers from a person who has stopped struggling with interoverstion and has indeed embraced it! Friends, there are so many glitters to be being one’s own that you would not be able to enjoy in being an extrovert. Scroll down the list:

You are more carefree than you think!

When you are all by yourself, the blithe attitude sets in. Sans any known presence, you are less conscious, less anxious and less intimidated. You get the time to pamper and flatter yourself and hence get mesmerized in your own company! So many laurels of being a solitary chap!

 

Being formal not the norm

When on a road to solitary tread, you are not ensnared in the clutches of formalities, respect or censorship. Giving and acknowledging esteem, keeping the veneration of others in mind and scrutinizing your speech before speaking; all these become non- incumbent. All the formalities of the situation ebb since, in solitude, your concentration in totally on yourself.

 

Do what your heart says

Keeping a balance between the unquenchable heart and prudent mind is tough, especially when you are bound with rules, laws or norms. Hence when you are in your own cocoon, without any company, you do not feel fenced within the garb of orders and conventions. Hence your solitude gives you all the liberty to go wild, crazy or wayward, which somewhat stifles when you are within a group or a formal company.

 

No presence No pressure

One minds the way one walks and talks when one is within someone’s presence. There is certain refined way to handle yourself when in a group, which is certainly not incumbent when you are all by yourself. Your solitude renders you an uncanny freedom to do things sans any pressure. You can choose to do things that are frivolous, flippant or feckless!

Folks,  there is so much that your solitude – inclination can offer. Enjoying your solitude, with all its charms and laurels, will make you happy and content, rather than making you feel languid when you intentionally force yourself to be socially active.

The subtle art of saying the word ‘no’

Well folks, already jaded of going through the articles with the same theme and similar topics as what the title of this write up suggests? Yet still end up being ensnared in the jaws of the word ‘yes’, when you intend to absolutely turn down the proposal? Can’t  really help not agreeing to something even if that would be the last thing you would do on this globe?

Everyone, at some pivotal point of time has been entangled in the above deplorable situations. People find it very difficult to refuse, refute or raise their voice on issues that they find uncomfortable dealing with, only to repent later. Acknowledging a lousy task or taking a non-inclined work, just because turning them down is not your cup of tea, is only a solicited way of self mortification. Reluctantly facilitating others and a pretentious happy to help attitude has, had and will always cost you a high price for your non-eloquence in saying the formidable word ‘ no’.

Here are some self-designed, observation- cum- experienced based tips of a really happy to help person. Folks, scroll through the pointers which may help you in applying the subtle art of saying ‘no’, when jostled in rough situations.

‘Yes’ is not always the best.

Being clear and eloquent is the basis of any successful communication. One ought to keep her/his intentions, motivations and inclinations clear. Agreeing to do something, you do not have a penchant for and later, fretting all through the respective task, would only be self -aversive. You don’t always need to be a magnanimous person, helping others out of your comfort zones while cribbing and carping all through the journey. Remember, saying ‘No ‘, when you wish to say it, may give momentarily difficulty, but it will spare you from treading the path of self invited torture and vexation.

Either be dumb, or simply snub

If you consider the golden word really elusive, think about the consequences of agreeing today and crippling tomorrow. Beating around the Bush doesn’t really work and is both irritating and appalling. Be prudent enough to refuse something that you think ain’t your business. Taking up a task just for the sake of making others feel obliged will lead you to get entangled in the vicious cycle of doing favours, giving unwanted commitments and bestowing overwhelming help to others. Remember people will always take advantage of your soft mind and it is you who would end up being their slackened victim.

Dispel the ‘No’ woe

Attending a task reluctantly, and garnering the slushy praise of the respective person would not give you any substantial credit. It would just be a transient acknowlegement of how guillible you are besides paving an impression of how easily you can be mugged off with sugar coated, plausible words. Saying a clear No is imperative as it reflects one’s self assertiveness and puts forth a strong, confident and a dauntless image. Acceding to doing something today, which you are unwilling to or do not have the respective flair, would only lead to either a clumsy performance or a complete failure. The word No at the right stage and right time can refrain you from ending up in this abdominal mess.

Be happy to help yourself

The main reason why people cannot say ‘no’ in a particular scenario is that it may render the other person appalled. In a quest to oblige others, one forgets one’s own substance and just ends being a struggling sycophant. Folks, if you have been blessed to have a speech of your own, a mind to think rationally and a self to be revered, you ought to clearly keep them as priorities and think for your own sake. Never push yourself into things you aren’t comfortable to do just to spare yourself from the label of being rude or obdurate. Esteem your way of working and don’t let sagacious people affect you. Remember, a blatant no would always be better than a beguiled yes; the latter would lead you carping, cribbing and crippling.

So people, the philosophy brimming pointers just stated aren’t just easy to say but easy to implement as well. Apply the subtle art of saying ‘no’ and live happily ever after!

The growing culture of publicizing your life

Social media is a very misunderstood term in the present era. Many folks regard it as a platform to post one’s filter inundated photos, contemporary moods, flamboyant check-ins’ and the latest to join the list is the ask-me-anything vogue. A cautious use of social media is imperative, especially amidst the growing culture of publicizing one’s personal life.

It’s an old adage that any news of happiness ought to be broadcasted, it’s good to cherish it amidst near and dear ones (which ostensibly included the whole neighbourhood and once in a blue moon visit relatives,among others). People literally follow this ideology,today in 21st century, under the garb of Facebook status, Whats app stories or Snapchat shots. The formal,for-the-sake-of-replying emoticons’ love, on the respective update, is deemed as a parameter of how well people care about you and how overwhelmed they are, by our happiness. The vivid social media platforms are now exploited by people to publicize their lives to such an extent, that the malice of mental health problems is becoming increasingly uncommon.

Folks, here are some self-analytically framed pointers that ought to be kept in mind for a cautious use of social media, when you resort to open your life to the world out there:

Don’t flow with the wave

In the world of strenous competition and obtrusive rat race, one ought have a unique identity. Don’t let social media allurements trap you in their vicious circle if you don’t desire them. In other words, don’t try to emulate what your peer group is doing, just for the sake of putting forth an image of being trend-conscious. Social comparisons over social media platforms, according to research, increases the probability of depression among other malignant afflictions. Folks, there is nothing wrong in seeking comfort in your own cocoon!

Know you limits well

If you have already stepped the road to unveil your private self, putting a demarcation to the extent to which you want to open up is both pragmatic and wise and will help in cautious use of social media. Doing something out of your comfort zone on social media is desired, only if you have appraised that ‘something’ well and hence are lucidly aware of the consequences. People will always try coaxing you to breach your limits by stating the bait of ‘here is where life begins’, but you ought to act with maturity and prudence.

Side the snide remarks

Everybody and anybody has a right to articulate their views on social media platform. So, if any Tom, Dik or Harry posts something that is ostensibly lewd, there is no point fretting over it. Many people over think about such remarks and hence take endeavours to decimate themselves. Remember, it is a solicited endeavour, it’s you who have given the license to people to  ‘ask me anything’ and thus, be ready to face and answer even the most unanticipated questions. You can belittle them, of course but in majority of cases people do answer them over social media, considering it as a challenge and hence, face the consequences.

Be prudent and not impudent

Finally, you are responsible for whatever actions you take and hence take them with thrift. Use social media wisely, exploit it’s productive capacities in the right way. Since it has a wide reach, being fully acquainted with the consequences of your posts and having a private account is much bolstered. Just don’t be a moron to upload every snap of your private life, just because every other folk is sailing the same boat. Be aware, wary and mature while handling social media platforms.

So peeps, there’s much more to just a highly edited photo or a pelirous challenge of ‘ask me anything’ that social media has to offer. A cautious use of social media would help you harness it’s true potential with wisdom and prudence!

How lit is the college life prototype?

Only a couple of days left for the college to start, and, all the fucchas out there, busy scrounging the first day dress? Avidly looking forward to step in the best phase of your life?  Very excited to experience the all new, much hyped world of college life? The end of mundane school life and the impending commencement of college days giving you goosebumps, freshers?

Well folks, if you are anticipating a set of sizzling college years ahead and thus, have vivid expectations, it’s time for a reality check. College life is ostensibly very happening, but what really is it?

Here’s a write up of a sophomore,  endeavouring to provide a veritable account on college life and some (experience-formulated) tips to make your college life colourful:

Reel v/s Real: At loggerheads

If you are the chap, engrossed in the idyllic Bollywood masala movies and expect your college life to be just ravishing, here’s some stuff you need to digest, that would probably save you from a rude shock. The flamboyant cars, the vivacious songs and the strenous love stories; all this would be replaced by e-rickshaws standing just outside the metro station, the professor’s incessant chant and mere infatuation respectively. College life is undoubtely fun but it largely depends upon the way you, as a fresher,  percieve it (away from film fantasy,of course).

Hope it to be dope?

With the new found liberty, comes many new things to try. Yet, for many, the free and fresh aura of college life is deemed as a license to start drinking, smoking or smoking up, with the main motive to fit in the ‘cool’ category. Freshers always remember that coolness, hotness, insanity etc. are just words framed by youngsters like us. Substance use,  unknowingly may turn into substance abuse, crippling your life forever. There are a slew of things out there to try, let alone drinking delirium make you dope.

No stipend for insipid life

Liberty and variety are the keywords that forms a demarcation between your school and college life. Using both of them in the right spirit will make you enjoy the full essence of college. Folks, don’t abound your college world just with books and class notes; you will be missing something really enchanting. College societies, student run organisations,  internships and other stellar opportunities are all waiting, for you to join! Freshers, make the most of them as these platforms are truly enriching and worth reminiscing.

Dress to impress!

Finally, it’s time for all girls and boys to throw off their monotonous school uniform and pamper their hot bod with the right clothes. But if you are dreaming of a ‘filmistaan’, marked by attitude-inundated, crop top clad girls and hunks crooning some rich Bollywood songs, with guitar as their perennial buddy; put the surreal thinking about college life on a halt.  But that doesn’t mean you can’t get playful with your outfits. Freshers, Dress modestly and impressively and dispel your hesitation by setting your own fashion trends! Remember, the bubbling enthusiasm to dress charmingly generally abates till your final year, and hence, exploit the dress hysteria of your first year, to the fullest!

So freshers, if you really want to jive high on the college life beats, keep the realities in mind and gear up for a rapturous experience ahead!